The Schlumf of the week

Try this!

Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake

1 cup water
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt lemon juice
4 large eggs nuts
1 bootle of vodka
1 can of Red Bull
2 cups dried fruit

1. Sample the vodka to check the quality.
2. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix
with a little red bull and drink.
4. Repeat.
5. Turn on the electric mixer, beat onen cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl.
6. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
7. At this point its is best to make sure the vodka is still ok.
8. Flavour with red bull to taste.
9. Try another cup - just in case turn off the mixerer.
10 Brek two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
11. Pick fruit off floor.
12. Mix on the turner.
13. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
14. Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticitity, flavour with a little
Bed Rull.
15. Next ssiffft two coups of salt. Or something ... Who giveshz a shi**
16. Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
17. Pick up the can, mop the floor
18. Check the vodka
19. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
20. Add one table.
21. Add ashpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
22. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
23. Don't forget to beat off the turner
24. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and
kick the dog.
25. Fall into bed,


This eMail we got from our home town

Gidday schmitz´,

first of all ta for ya email.

Crikey dick, the schmitz´said cheerio!!!
What happens now, eh?
The carnival society of Wesched kicks the bucket.
>>>>No schmitz´
>>> No turnover
>>> No fun
We won´t do it any longer. We ´re going bush.
Fewa the blokes thought " lets make some anklebiters".
And now many handbrakes in Wesched are up the duff.. My missus ain´t!!!
We gotta new pub in town, it´s called "Old Wershofen",eh
and it opened today at 10 am.
Great! I had to work! And all buddies too!
So he saved much piss for free, eh!
Santa comes soon and walks from door to door, when I meet him
I´ll send him greetz from ya if ya want!
Maybe he sounds the villagers out.
I´ll tell ya if I hear, eh!
Otherwise we´re doing well!
Have much fun and adventures, eh???
Stay tough!

Norbert and dependants

And these phrases below just have to be said:

The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast and you miss all you are travelling for. (Louis l'Amour)
The trail is the thing? Don´t call crap, my ass ist hurting! (Frank)

Life is full of missed opportunities.
Said a 73 years old Englishman.